


Don't Shoot The Messenger

by dannikathewomanika, papple



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Marauders, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-05-03 01:38:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14558043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dannikathewomanika/pseuds/dannikathewomanika, https://archiveofourown.org/users/papple/pseuds/papple
Summary: Ever since his first year at Hogwarts, Remus Lupin has been exchanging messages with someone on a bathroom stall. Neither of them know who the other one is, and now that they're graduating soon, they want to find out.





	1. Chapter 1

Remus cursed under his breath as he fought to move against the tide of students going to the great hall for dinner. He had hoped to avoid this rush, but had lost track of time in the library, so really it was his own fault that he had almost been trampled three times in the last five minutes.

Finally, he managed to make his way through the crowds and onto the fourth floor. He walked as fast as he could without actually running as he made for the boy’s bathroom at the far end of the hall. He headed for the third stall from the left, hoping it was empty, only to find that it wasn’t. Remus quickly left the washroom and stood outside the door, listening for the sound of a toilet flushing. When he did, he went back in, hoping that whoever was in there would assume he’d just come in, and not notice that his shoes were the exact same ones they had probably seen from inside the stall.

Keeping his head down, Remus hurried into the bathroom and headed for the stall. Just before he went in, someone called out to him. “Hey Remus!” Remus turned around. He would recognize that voice anywhere. When he looked up, he was greeted by sparkling grey eyes, sleek black hair, and an enormous grin.

“H-hey, Sirius.” Remus mumbled, his face going red. He stared at a spot on the floor, wishing fervently that he didn’t blush so easily. Sirius gave him another smile and left the bathroom, presumably to go to the great hall.

Remus hurried into the stall, locking the door behind him. He leaned against the door, trying to get himself to calm down.  
Ever since their first or second year, Remus had had a huge crush on Sirius. He couldn’t say when exactly it started, just that he couldn’t think of a time when he had been able to look at Sirius without blushing. The two had never really been friends, but they knew each other well enough to say hello, as can be expected after going to boarding school together for seven years. Now that they were graduating in a few months, Remus wasn’t sure if he should feel happy or sad about the fact that he would probably never see Sirius again. On the one hand, it might help him get over his stupid crush, but on the other…even just catching a glimpse of Sirius could make his day better. Remus hated it.

Sighing, he turned to face the wall of the stall. There, written in blue pen, was the sentence: _How did that chem test go?_  
Remus smiled. He pulled a pencil out of his bag and wrote: **Alright. Could have been better, I suppose. How about you? History test, right? And you really shouldn’t be writing in pen, you idiot, how are you going to erase that?**

Sticking the pencil in his pocket, Remus slung his bag over his shoulder and left the stall. He would come back later that evening to see if there was an answer.  
These little notes had been going on since Remus’ first year. He had been a small, skinny eleven year old, covered in scars from a car accident when he was little. He had been terrified of everything, from the teachers to the older students to his roommate, Frank, who he was actually very good friends with now. There was even a tree on the school grounds that he had been terrified to go near.

One day, about two months into the year, Remus had noticed a note scribbled on the wall of this bathroom stall. Well, scribbled was a little inaccurate. It was written in perfect cursive. It read, _“Oh, I could hide ‘neath the wings of the bluebird as she sings, the six-o’clock alarm would never ring” _.__  
It had taken Remus a moment to place the lyrics, but when he did, he grinned and pulled a pencil out of his pocket. **“But six rings, and I rise, wipe the sleep out of my eyes, the shaving razor’s cold and it stings” **.****

The next day, Remus had gone back to the stall, and seen that the next lyrics were written out in that same flowing script. Over the course of the next seven years, the two boys had talked, and even become what you could almost call friends via the bathroom stall. Their conversation consisted of all sorts of things. Things that were important and things that weren’t, things meant for anyone reading their conversation(i.e.: _Fuck off, what we’re talking about is none of your business_ or **Don’t you have better things to do than to read in on other people’s conversations?** ), and just about anything and everything else that came to mind. Remus had never asked who the other person was, and the other person had never asked who Remus was. He got the feeling they both enjoyed the mystery.

Humming happily to himself, Remus left the bathroom and headed towards the great hall. He had heard there was shepherd’s pie being served that evening.

 

Later, when he returned to the bathroom, there was a blue smudge on the stall where the message written in pen had been. Next to it was a note written in pencil. _Fuck you, ok? I didn’t have anything else on me. And fun fact, spit is very good for wiping pen off of bathroom stalls. _  
Remus rolled his eyes. **You’re disgusting. And you’re avoiding my question about the history test.**__

 

He got back to his room to find Frank already in bed. Remus glanced at the clock. 7:30. “Bit early for bed, don’t you think?”  
“The football team’s fucking hardcore,” Frank grumbled from under his blankets. “Potter’s making us get up at five in the fucking morning for the next few weeks. If I die, that git has to apologize at my funeral.” Frank had trouble getting through a sentence without swearing, a habit that Remus had picked up after a few years of sharing a room with the other boy.  
Deciding that it was probably best to let Frank sleep, Remus sorted through his books, kept what he would need for homework in his back, turned off the lights, and headed for the library.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the late update! School became unbearably busy near the end of the schoolyear, but now that it is summer vacation, expect speedier updates!

“You know you could at least _pretend_ to be happy for me.” James grumbled. Despite not being able to see James, Sirius could still picture his signature eye roll.

_I’ve been like this for hours_ , Sirius thought, limbs still stretched out in spread eagle on his bed, forehead pressed against his mattress, _I should get up_.

“No, actually, you haven’t been there for hours,” James quipped matter-of-factly, “I only came in here and found your depressing ass ten minutes ago.”

“Shit, did I say that out loud?” Sirius said, head shooting up, “Also, my ass is not depressing.”

Sirius finally looked up at his best friend- also his worst roommate, since he stepped into the room. James’ brown hair was drenched, sticking onto his forehead, which was also beaded with sweat. He also stank. Dammit, did he forget to put on deodorant again?

“Your ass won’t be depressed after you actually listen to me,” James said, “Now, in case you weren’t paying att-“

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Sirius droned, “you got a date with Nellie or whatever.”

Reaching for his own pillow on his bed, James swung it at Sirius’ side at full momentum.

“Oh my God, you’re impossible,” James said frustratingly, “first of all, it’s Lily, second, pretend like you care!”

“Wow okay! First of all, ow!” Sirius complained, “Second, of course I know it’s Lily. Lily fuckin’ Evans. Redhead. Who doesn’t know her?”

“Okay good,” James said, tossing his pillow back on his bed, “Now pretend to care.”

“I obviously care,” Sirius started, propping himself up, sitting cross-legged atop his mattress, “but I’m so, so sorry for being pissed off at this.”

At that, Sirius reached for the piece of paper stuffed hastily underneath his pillow, shoving it in front of James’ face.

Grabbing the paper from Sirius, James placed it right in front of his face, eyes scanning from left to right in an almost insulting amount of emphasis.

Finally coming to a conclusion, James said, “I don’t get why you’re upset.” 

“ _You don’t get why I’m upset_?!” Sirius huffed, “Look at the mark, bimbo.”

Staring at the paper a bit longer, James came to his second conclusion, “Still don’t see it”.

“Good lord, man,” Sirius exasperated, “Do you not notice how the first digit of the mark is _below_ a five? Huh?”

“Oh, well I got that obviously,” James said, handing the test back to Sirius, “but I don’t see why you’re so upset about it.”

“Because I _failed_.” Sirius said with defeat.

“True, but at least it’s still two digits.” James joked, ending his light chuckle as he saw the murderous gleam in Sirius’ eyes.

“I don’t know, honestly,” Sirius sighed, “I honestly give up in her class. I’m trying, but McGonagall can’t teach for shit.”

“Hey, maybe the teacher isn’t the problem?” James suggested, “You know admitting your own problems is the first step in recovery- maybe you should consider tutoring?”

For the first time since he came in, James said something that wasn’t full of shit.

“Tutoring? That doesn’t sound bad actually,” Sirius said, “I’ll check it out. Hey since when did you become so wise and insightful?”

“Since I got a date with the hottest girl in school,” James boasted, “you gotta be deserving to be with Evans, and that means helping those in need, even helpless souls like yourself, forever adrift in society, forever los-“

“Alright tough guy, why don’t you take a shower first before bed?” Sirius suggested drily, “I doubt Lily would want to date someone that smelled like our washroom after Peter had too much Mexican food.”

James whacked Sirius a with his pillow for the second time that night.

~

Before heading to the cafeteria the next morning for breakfast, Sirius detached himself from the sea of empty-bellied students piling into the dining hall and disappeared to the washroom.

As per usual, he entered the same stall he always did. Pushing the lock forward and awkwardly shrugging his backpack off his shoulders, he placed his backpack on the hook.

On the wall, the message he wrote still remained from yesterday. _Fuck you, ok? I didn’t have anything else on me. And fun fact, spit is very good for wiping pen off of bathroom stalls._

Right below it, however, was a brand new message.

**You’re disgusting. And you’re avoiding my question about the history test.**

Sirius hadn’t thought about his history test since the night prior, the sudden reminder released an unsettling feeling in his stomach. And it wasn’t the hunger.

The messaging had been going on for years, now it seems like a staple in Sirius’ normal high school life. It was an innocent thing at first, Sirius thought nothing of it. There were instances, however, in which Sirius could not stop caring about what his anonymous pen pal had said- or rather _wrote_.

If asked, Sirius would never admit that he cares about the opinion of notes on a wall. He really does care, though. Really, really cares. Definitely more than he should.

Perhaps it is because he has no clue who this mysterious messenger is. A few things are certain- he’s a guy, he’s in his grade, and he still finds merit in talking to Sirius in the form of notes on a bathroom stall even after all these years. Other than that, he’s a total phantom. He’s a friend and a stranger, and what is worse- embarrassing yourself in front of a friend or a stranger?

Sighing to himself, Sirius dug out his pencil from his backpack and wrote a message before leaving for the cafeteria.

_Test went good, easier than expected._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily convinces Remus to tutor a very reluctant Sirius.

Remus was sitting in the deepest, darkest corner of the library, on a chair that felt as if it could fall apart at any moment. On the table in front of him- which was in worse condition than the chair- was a very thick book. Remus had, out of curiosity, flipped to the last page to see the number. It was big. Very big.

 “You really do make yourself hard to find, don’t you?”

 Remus looked up to see Lily Evans walking towards him. He had become friends with her in their fifth year, when they were both made prefects, and since then they had spent a lot of time there studying together, but she had never found this particular hideout. “Why were you looking for me?”

 “I have someone who needs a history tutor, and I thought, since you’re so enthusiastic about the subject….”

 Remus didn’t say anything.

 “Please, Remus. There’s no one else with extra time to tutor him, I’ve asked. I know you don’t love it, but please? Just this once.”

 “Fine,” Remus grumbled. “But you owe me.” Lily hugged him.

 “Thank you, Remus, you’re amazing!”

 “I know. Where is this guy?”

 “Just give me a minute, I think he wandered off.” Remus rolled his eyes. “I’m already looking forward to this.”

 

A few minutes later, Lily returned with a disgruntled looking Sirius Black behind her. “You can’t just run off on me, and you do need tutoring. James told me the mark you got on that last history test. It-”

 “He told you? The little-”

 “Sirius!”

 Remus, who had watched all of this in silent horror, finally found his voice. “No.”

 “No what?” Lily frowned at Remus.

 “No, I’m not tutoring him.”

 “You already said you would.”

 “Well, I changed my mind.”

 “Problem solved,” Sirius interjected. “I don’t want to be tutored, he doesn't want to tutor me, it’s just a generally bad idea.” He started to leave, but Lily grabbed his arm.

 “I didn’t think it would be this difficult to get you two to talk to each other,” she muttered. She pushed Sirius into a chair across from Remus and said, “His class is doing the French Revolution now. Amusez vous!” And then she was gone.

 “So,” Sirius said, turning to Remus, “What book is that?”

 “War and Peace.”

 “What is it about Russian authors? There’s War and Peace, Crime and Punishment….I can’t think of any others.”

 “There’s Sense and Sensibility. But that’s not Russian.”

 “Oh yeah. Hey, what if we just talk about books instead of studying?”

 “No. If Lily thinks you need help that badly, then you probably need help. What was the mark you got?”

 Sirius crossed his arms. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

 “Alright. Let’s just talk about the French Revolution.”

 

 All Remus wanted to do when he got back to his room was to take a long nap before dinner, but Frank told him that Alice was looking for him. “And you know what Alice is like. She’s not going to rest until she finds you.”

 “That’s a lovely thing to say about your girlfriend, Frank.”

 “Fuck you.” Frank pulled his blanket over his head. “Let me sleep. I swear I’m going to murder Potter one of these days.”

 “Poor little Frankie.” Remus ducked under a pillow that had been thrown at his head. “I’m going to find Alice. Miss me!”

 “I won’t. Give me my pillow back.”

 “Goodnight!” Remus shut the door before Frank started throwing textbooks. He wandered the school for a while before finding Alice in the kitchens with a plate of cinnamon rolls.

 “Hey Remus! Want one?”

 “Frank said you were looking for me.”

 “I was. I heard you’re tutoring Sirius Black.”

 Remus groaned. Alice was the only person he had told about his crush on Sirius, and he regretted it daily. He knew that she would never tell anyone, but that didn’t stop her from teasing him about it mercilessly. “Yes, I am.”

 “So?”

 “So what? He needs help in a class, I’m helping him.”

 “How’s it going?”

 “As well as can be expected.”

 “Remus! You can’t keep giving me these vague answers! I want the details!”

 “Alice! There are no details!”

 Alice crossed her arms. “I don’t believe you.”

 “You should.” Alice raised an eyebrow at him, but didn’t press the subject. “How’s your bathroom buddy?”

 “I really wish you wouldn’t call him that. It sounds really weird.”

 “Any clues?”

 “No, Alice.” Alice was constantly trying to figure out who Remus was writing to. She had even tried to convince him to sneak her into the bathroom so she could see the writing, but Remus had refused on the grounds that sneaking her in might be a bit difficult. He didn’t really like talking about the messages with Alice, but it was better than discussing Sirius.

 Alice looked like she didn’t believe him about that, either, but she could always tell when Remus had had enough, so they talked about other things as they ate their way through the plate of cinnamon rolls. When they were done, Remus went up to the fourth floor bathroom. There was no new message, so Remus wrote one of his own.

  **I’m absolutely and completely fucked. I need help.**

 Remus left the bathroom quickly, barely even noticing that Sirius had walked in. As he was walking down the hall, he could have sworn he heard laughter from the bathroom, but he decided that he was probably just imagining things.


	4. Chapter 4

Sirius was sure James switched their pillows. He was one-hundred percent sure. _The bastard_.

Sirius’ head felt lower than usual, feeling quite uncomfortable without the neck support he was used to. Bringing a pillow from home was the smartest last-minute-decision-item that Sirius had ever packed in his life; the pillows that the school provided were horrendous. It was a horror that James had had to live with for the past number of years- Sirius was surprised he only decided to swap pillows _now_. Or maybe he was too daft to figure out earlier that Sirius had brought his own pillow this whole time. Shifting his body to the side, Sirius stared in discontent at his friend snoring away on _his_ pillow. Sirius was pretty sure James crashed onto his bed as soon as he got back from practice and never got up again, meaning his sweat was getting all over his precious pillow.

Sirius scoffed lightly, rolling his eyes at James’ back. He wished to fall asleep soon so his future self wouldn’t regret it in class the next morning, but his mind was abuzz. 

Sirius never expected James to follow up on his word and find him a tutor- which Sirius was perfectly fine with. The thought of sitting alone with another student only for them to discover Sirius’ academic underperformance was not an ideal situation, to say the least. He was quite discontent when Lily found him and dragged him hopelessly into the library.

All the worst-case scenarios in Sirius’ mind never arrived- his first tutoring session was not bad at all. In fact, Sirius could safely say he liked his tutor, Remus. Sirius had seen him around from time to time, but today was the first time he had ever talked to the boy.

Remus was intelligent, but insanely awkward. Sirius was surprised he could even lift the book he was reading at the time- he looked like a small breeze could easily blow him away. Sirius barely talked during the hour they had together, it was mainly hearing Remus ramble on about the French revolution. Remus rarely looked directly at Sirius, and whenever Sirius made a remark it only made him seem more uncomfortable. Poor kid.

“You’re doing the thing again.”

Sirius turned to his side again, glaring at James.

“Go back to sleep you bastard,” Sirius grumbled, “also what thing?”

“The _thing_.” James explained, “Y’know, when your fingers are picking at your lips so much that you might as well rip them off.”

Sirius opened his mouth to quip back, but the embarrassment creeping up his neck only held him back. He cursed silently as James scoffed at him.

“See? You know what I’m talking about.” James said, “So who’s the lucky guy?”

According to James, Sirius had a tell when it came to whenever he starts crushing on someone. Sirius tends to deny the fact, but James is never wrong whenever he points out his bad habit to Sirius.

“Eh, it’s no one important,” Sirius shrugged, “doubt you’ll know him anyways.”

“C’mon, say it.” James pushed.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“ _No!_ ”

Silence.

“Fine.” James mumbled, turning over to his opposite side.

Sirius sighed and pulled his blanket closer to his neck, shutting his eyes and wishing to sleep to relieve him of this awkward moment.

“...Pussy.” James whispered. It was barely audible, but Sirius caught ever syllable.

“Okay, jeez! You don’t have to be a dick about it!” Sirius complained, “It’s this dude named Remus Lupin. And you’re wrong, you know? I don’t actually like him.”

“Liar!” James exclaimed, “The lip-picking tell _never_ lies. It’s always true.”

“Maybe this time it’s wrong okay. Only talked to the guy once.” Sirius said.

“ _Oh my God _,” James gasped, “it’s your fucking tutor! Sirius, you sly dog.”__

__“Never say ‘sly dog’ un-ironically ever again, you hear?” Sirius warned, “Also just stop already, he’s just helping me out with history. Go to sleep and switch our pillows to their _rightful_ place tomorrow.”_ _

__“Mm… Not gonna happen. My neck is finally happy after all these years.” James said before dozing off once more._ _

__It took another hour and countless thoughts of Remus before Sirius finally fell asleep._ _

__~_ _

__“You look dead.” Lily remarked the next day._ _

__“Yeah. Thank your boyfriend for that.” Sirius groaned._ _

__All Sirius wanted to do was to crash in his dorm and sleep, however a promise was a promise- even if you feel like blacking out at any moment. Sirius had agreed to helping to pass out flyers about the football match that was taking place next week. James had called it the “Match of the Century”- it was the reason why James had pushed so many practices onto his team. Sirius could understand his friend’s passion, it was his last year at Hogwarts- and if there was anything James loves more than being James, it was beating Ilvermorny to a pulp._ _

__“I can take over if you want,” Lily suggested, “it’s no biggie. I can pass out all these no problem.”_ _

__“Nah, I’ll do it.” Sirius denied passively, taking a half from the pile that Lily carried._ _

__“Alright, if you say so.” Lily said._ _

__They commenced walking around campus, forcing flyers in unsuspecting students’ hands left and right. Sirius thought the task was fruitless, the majority of the school would show up at the game regardless. It was Hogwarts tradition to watch any match against their biggest rival._ _

__“How did it go yesterday?” Lily asked, “Was Remus okay?”_ _

__“Yeah, he was just fine,” Sirius replied, “dude knows his stuff.”_ _

__“...And?” Lily pressed on._ _

__“Oh God, what did James tell you.” Sirius groaned, “Actually don’t answer. Whatever it was, it’s bullshit.”_ _

__“Mhm, whatever you say!” Lily singsonged, “Speaking of your prince charming, off you go!”_ _

__Lily gave Sirius’ shoulder a light push towards two students seated in the shade of a willow tree. Sirius noticed the profile of Remus, his attention geared towards his friend seated next to him. His friend was twice the size of Remus, with unruly dark hair and an abnormally wide mouth. Sirius knew a few of those- he was definitely on James’ team._ _

__“That’s Frank, right?” Sirius asked Lily, “He’s on the team, I doubt they’d want these flyers.”_ _

__“So? Just give ‘em out, doesn’t hurt anyone.” Lily stated._ _

__“It hurts me. Truly.” Sirius said sourly._ _

__“Aw, I’m touched,” Lily said, pouting her lips in sarcasm, “truly.”_ _

__“Jesus Christ, it’s no wonder why you and James are a match made in heaven,” Sirius puffed, hugging the stack of flyers close as he made his way towards Remus and Frank._ _

__Remus was the first to look up, Frank was still midway through his sentence before noticing that his friend’s gaze has veered elsewhere. Remus kept looking at Sirius like he _wanted_ something from him, even from their tutoring session the day prior. Sirius has nothing to give._ _

__“So what now? Potter has his roommate as his henchman?” Frank commented, making Remus’ eyes fall from Sirius’ face._ _

__“Yeah, somethin’ like that.” Sirius said in dismay, “doubt you want these, but take some if you want. More than one, so this’ll be over quicker.”_ _

__“Yeah, yeah, I’ll take some off your hands,” Frank said, motioning Sirius to bring the flyers closer, “I know how much of an ass James can really be.”_ _

__“Yeah, you and me both.” Sirius commented back absentmindedly._ _

__Sirius was looking at Remus, who had his head down, hands pulling out an abundant amount of grass. It was as if he was actively trying to avoid him._ _

__“Oi, you tell Potter to go softer during practice, you hear?” Frank said, “How are we gonna beat Ilvermorny if we’re dead before we get on the field?”_ _

__“Yeah, yeah, like he’ll listen to me.” Sirius grumbled._ _

__“Or get Evans to tell him, he’s sure to listen then.” Frank said, eyes motioning to the redhead waiting patiently for Sirius to return._ _

__“Yeah, maybe,” Sirius said, “Thanks for taking a bunch of these flyers- guess I’ll be seeing you around.”_ _

__Frank nodded in agreement while Sirius turned on his heel to leave. He gave one last glance to Remus, who’s gaze was still fixated on the ground. Sirius knew Remus was quite shy, but now he suspects that he is definitely trying to avoid him._ _

__“Hey, uh, think I can catch you tomorrow at the library? ‘Round the same time as last time?” Sirius asked._ _

__Remus slowly lifted his gaze, eyes darting to everything around Sirius, but never resting directly on Sirius’ face._ _

__“Oh, yeah, yeah, sure.” Remus spat out quickly, pulling out a large chunk of grass in the process._ _

__The exhausted annoyance in Sirius grew. Perhaps he could blame his fatigue- he could barely think properly without feeling in disarray in a sea of fog. Sirius wished Remus could just _talk_ to him, like he did in the library. Sirius didn’t know why it bothered him so much that Remus was so bothered by him._ _

__“Mother Nature is going after your ass, I swear.” Frank joked, earning an unamused eye roll from Remus._ _

__“Yeah, see you then.” Sirius said to Remus, proceeding to give a final nod to Frank before turning back to Lily.  
He was determined to get Remus to talk without a front._ _

__~_ _

__Sirius found himself in a bathroom stall instead of his bed after finally getting rid of all the flyers. His body yearned for something soft to lay on, but his feet led him straight into the bathroom._ _

__His feet did that a lot these days._ _

__**I’m absolutely and completely fucked. I need help.**  
Sirius lightly smirked after reading his pen pal’s new declaration on the wall. With pencil still in hand, Sirius etched his response._ _

___You and me both_ _ _


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank and Alice are plotting to get Remus and Sirius together.

**I’m absolutely and completely fucked. I need help.**

_You and me both_

Frank almost screamed. But there were other people in the bathroom, so he satisfied himself with gently banging his head against the door of the cubicle.

“Those fucking idiots,” he muttered. He took a deep, calming breath and left the stall. Alice was waiting in the hallway.

“Well?”

“I can’t take this anymore, Alice. This is killing me. I’ve been reading those messages since our first year! I knew who was writing them by third year! I don’t know how people as smart as those two haven’t figured it out yet!”

Alice smirked. “I think they both like the mystery.”

“Fuck the mystery! I’m going to go find both those little shits and tell them!”

“Frank, I don’t think that will work very well. You know how shy Remus can be, especially when-” She cut herself off suddenly.

“Especially when what?”

“Hmm?”

“Alice, don’t pretend you didn’t say anything.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“I can tell when you’re lying, Alice.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Yes you are.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Let’s talk about something else.”

“Ok. But we’re coming back to this eventually.”

By this point, they had reached Frank and Remus’s room. Frank opened the door and saw Remus lying on his bed, reading.

“Hey Remus!” Alice pushed past Frank, and Remus jumped at the sound of her voice.

“Hi,” he said. Alice spread herself out across Frank’s bed. Frank tried and failed to make her move, and sat on the floor. He reached under his bed and pulled out a bag of chips. They had eaten about half of the bag when someone knocked on the door. Remus got up to open it.

“Uh, hi.” Sirius was standing awkwardly in the doorway. “I just came for Remus?” He seemed to be addressing the whole room, despite the fact that Remus was standing right in front of him.

“Why?” Frank thought Remus sounded oddly aggressive.

“You were supposed to meet me half an hour ago for tutoring.”

Remus’s eyes widened, and he checked his watch. “Fuck! Sorry, I didn’t realize what time it was. I’ll just be a minute.”

Sirius stayed in the doorway while Remus looked for his things, reminding Frank a little bit of a vampire. He hardly took his eyes off of Remus, and Frank noticed Remus blushing when he briefly met Sirius’s eyes. Once they were gone, Frank turned to Alice.

“Do they fancy each other? Is that what you were going to say earlier?”

Alice sighed. “Yes, but you can’t tell Remus you know, because he would think I told you and then he would be mad at me, and an angry Remus is truly terrifying.”

“That’s fair. Does Remus know Sirius likes him?”

“Frank. This is Remus we’re talking about. Do you think he knows?”

“Good point.” They were both silent for a moment. “So what are we going to do about it?”

Alice looked slightly confused. “What do you mean?”

“If we wait for them to sort it out, it’s never going to happen.”

“Good point. We need a plan.”

~~~

When Remus returned to his room a few hours later, he found Frank and Alice sitting on Frank’s bed, talking in low voices, another bag of chips between them.

“How many of those do you have?” Remus asked, dropping his bag on the floor. Frank and Alice jumped, rather guiltily, Remus thought. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing at all, Remus, why would you think there’s anything going on?”

“That’s your lying voice, Frank.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. How was tutoring?”

Remus decided that now was not the time to argue with Frank. “Tutoring went well.” Surprisingly so. He was slowly getting used to Sirius noticing his existence, and could now have a conversation with him without blushing. It was progress.

“Excellent, excellent.”

“Seriously, Frank, what is going on? Is it another surprise party? Because if it is, I’d like to remind you what happened the last time you tried to throw me a surprise party. I don’t think either of us want a repeat of that.”

Alice laughed. “It’s not a surprise party, Remus, I swear.” She glanced at Remus’s clock. “It’s getting late, I’m going to bed.”

Once Alice had left the room, Remus turned to Frank, but before he could interrogate him further, Frank grabbed his pajamas and hurried out of the room, muttering something about a shower. Remus rolled his eyes, but changed into his pajamas and got into bed. It was only much later, after the light was off and Frank had started to snore, that Remus realized he had been so caught up in tutoring Sirius he had forgotten to write anything to his pen pal.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the three months of absence. Winter break allowed more time to write- so voila! Here's the next chapter :)

Sirius didn’t think that he had ever studied _this_ much for any kind of test in his entire life.

Save for football, Sirius didn’t think he had ever put so much effort in any aspect of academics. Ever. Yet, Sirius recently found himself hunched over his desk, with only the dim, orange glow of his lamp illuminating his notes, so as to not wake a loudly snoring James. Sirius had even found himself drinking coffee in the mornings- something that he had never done before. He still found the taste to be absolutely revolting, but it was the only way he could feel somewhat awake.

Sirius didn’t know how much sleep he managed to get the night before- to be frank, he had stopped bothering to count. Surely, he felt the repercussions of sleep deprivation in every part of his body. Sirius barely trudged through all of his classes that day, and seeing that Remus was nowhere to be seen in the library, Sirius decided a nap was long overdue.

Nudging his face in the makeshift nook of his arms, Sirius relished in the temporary break from the nauseating lights of the library. He let the weight upon his eyelids take advantage, and he soon found himself allowing the limited streams of consciousness he held onto desperately for the majority of the day to dissipate.

_Bam!_

Sirius shot awake; eyes opening to view the darkness enclosed by his arms. Alertness slowly melted into annoyance, his silent curses to whoever was careless enough to wake him was about to turn into verbal curses as he sat back up.

His insults stopped midway through his throat as he saw the source of his disturbance. Sitting across from him was Remus, with his usual books stacked in front of him.

“Oi- you could just tap me or something, you know,” Sirius remarked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“I was gonna, sorry I didn’t mean to make so much noise,” Remus said.

“Yeah, well, let’s start then,” Sirius said, drumming his palms on the surface of the table.

“How about…we go somewhere else?” Remus suggested meekly.

Sirius’ eyebrows arched in response. It was unlike Remus to suggest something so non routine-like. Sirius didn’t know type-A personalities had it in them to do anything of the sort. Sirius knew the look on Remus’ face all too well- the kind that vaguely resembled a hybrid between a kicked puppy and someone about to vomit at one of those house parties that James always invited Sirius to. Sirius had become familiar with this look after the weeks of tutoring. It usually meant that Remus would stutter something to take back what he originally said.

Before Remus could do so, Sirius quipped, “sure. Let’s bounce.”

Sirius hopped to his feet while Remus awkwardly stared up at him. Remus scrambled to gather his books to his chest while carefully standing up. He pushed the chair back in with his feet. He was always so careful; always eager to place things back together.

“So where to?” Sirius asked as they made their way out of the library.

“I was thinking like, Three Broomsticks or something?” Remus replied, “Unless you have somewhere else in mind.”

“So like a date!” Sirius stated jokingly, chuckling out loud.

“No! What?” Remus exclaimed immediately, “N- why would you thi-”

Sirius’ laughter increased tenfold. It always amused him to see Remus turn tomato red and attempt to compose himself after Sirius said or did something ridiculous. Although- a date with Remus at Three Broomsticks wasn’t _such_ a ridiculous idea in Sirius’ mind.

“I’m just joking, you know,” Sirius said after his laughter died down, “‘cause it’s like a cafe and stuff.”

“Yeah, I know it’s a cafe,” Remus scoffed, his face returning to flesh colour, “I only suggested it ‘cause you look like shit.”

For the second time that hour, Sirius raised his eyebrows. He was not expecting that kind of response from Remus, of all people.

Remus let out a small laugh, smiling sheepishly at his own bravado, “I meant the coffee could really help you out.”

Sirius found himself laughing along, partly because of his amusement at Remus. He secretly felt a sense of pride- he was glad Remus finally felt a good deal of comfort around him.

“Aren’t you curious as to why I look like shit, though?” Sirius asked as they strolled across the school campus.

“Partying too hard?” Remus guessed.

“Try _studying_ too hard,” Sirius said, “that’s right- Sirius Black is now a scholar extraordinaire!”

“Okay, I see now,” Remus said, smiling at Sirius, “not only do you like shit- you’re saying shit too.”

“Hey!” Sirius exclaimed, a tone of shock mixed in. Again, he is unfamiliar with this side of Remus, “Fine- hit me with a question.”

“Let’s wait until we get there and start the session,” Remus said.

“No, ask me a question, seriously,” Sirius pressed.

“We should really wait until we start the session, it’s better if w-”

“Yadda yadda yadda,” Sirius interrupted, “Come on, don’t believe I’m a history genius now? Hit me.”

“Okay fine, fine,” Remus said, pausing to think of a question, “When was the First Republic founded?”

“That would be September twenty-second, seventeen ninety-two,” Sirius answered with absolute certainty, lips pulling upwards as he gave himself a mental high five.

“Woah, okay,” Remus said. Now it was his time to be shocked, “Let’s see… Name the estates.”

“Easy peasy. The first estate was the clergy, the second estate was nobility, and third was everyone else.” Sirius said.

“Everyone else?” Remus questioned, “You really think McGonagall would accept that when you write it down?”

“Okay, fine. Everyone else means the bourgeoisie, workers, peasants, blah blah blah.” Sirius sighed.

“Not bad, not bad.” Remus said, pursing his lips and nodding, “You’ll nail this test. I’m confident.”

Something warm bloomed in Sirius’ gut. He couldn’t understand why, but Remus’ words elicited a feeling which jolted Sirius awake. He stared at Remus with nothing to say- no sarcastic jeers, no joking remarks. He really wished this was a date.

“Here we are,” Remus said in front of Three Broomsticks’ entrance, “After you.”

Sirius stepped through the door and was immediately enveloped in the hospitality of the cafe. Low amber lights hung from the wooden ceiling, illuminating the cafe like the bottoms of fireflies. The sounds of whirring espresso machines and soft chatter filled the space. Sirius realizes it comes to no surprise that Remus would suggest such a place- Three Broomsticks was designed for the likes of Remus.

“I’ll find a table and put down these books,” Remus said, “you can order first.”

Remus promptly set out to the back of the cafe in search for a vacant table. Sirius almost called for him to come back- suddenly realizing he has absolutely no idea how to order.

 _It’s just a cafe, dumbass,_ Sirius thought, _you just order coffee and pay._

 _But the sizes- what if they have some weird naming system like Starbucks?_ Another voice in Sirius’ mind said.

 _Well, don’t knock it ‘till you’ve tried it,_ the voice of reason in Sirius said, _What’s wrong with you? Move your damn feet._

Sirius exited the futile argument in his head when he saw the barista staring directly at him. No- he was _glaring_ at him. Noticing the absence of a queue in front of the register, Sirius realized the barista was impatiently waiting for him to order. Sirius began to approach the register to dispel the awkwardness, wishing the barista would give him a break with the glare.

“What can I get you?” The barista asked in a deadpan tone.

“Uh…” Sirius hummed, craning his head to view the blackboard menu hung on top of the wall.

Sirius felt the continued glare burning through his chest. His eyes read the words, but none reached his brain. Hell, he thought coffee was just coffee. He didn’t know there were so many goddamn types.

“Say, uh…” Sirius said at the unamused barista, looking at his nametag for his name, “Severus- what would you suggest?”

Severus gave out a solemn sigh, “Our most popular drink is the butterbeer latte.”

“Okay, cool,” Sirius nodded, “I’ll get one, no- two of those. Small.”

Severus gave him a look- God, Sirius wished he would stop giving him that look, before tapping a couple times on his register screen.

“Your name?” Severus asked.

“Sirius,” Sirius stated.

This time, the look Severus gave was different. He furrowed his bushy, black eyebrows. It was the kind of look one gave when they heard something peculiar.

 _Is he judging me because of my name?_ Sirius asked in his head, _Tough for him to say- his name is fucking Severus_

“That will be seven thirty-nine,” Severus stated, “how would you like to pay today?”

“Debit,” Sirius said, taking out his wallet that barely fit inside his jean pocket. Sliding the card out, he simply tapped the card on the card machine. God, how he loved modern technology.

“The drinks will be ready on the side.” Severus said- as if to say “now fuck off please”.

Sirius stalked to the side, standing idly as he waited for his drinks to be made. His eyes scanned the room, this time taking in more detail. The patrons were diverse- ranging from highly sleep deprived university students hunched over their MacBooks, to flocks of teenage girls with a phone in one hand and an iced drink in the other. Amongst the entire cafe, Remus seemed to stand out. He was seated all the way in the back, head buried in some novel he brought along the way. The sight of him allowed a gentle smile to settle on Sirius’ lips.

“Two small butterbeer lattes for Sirius!” Another barista called.

Sirius grabbed both drinks on the top, strutting to Remus’ seat. Placing the two drinks on the table, Remus looked up from his book, surprised to see that Sirius had bought him a drink.

“Is this butterbeer latte?” Remus asked amusingly, “Wow, I didn’t know you knew your coffee stuff. You’re quite full of surprises today.”

Sirius gave a wink to Remus in response, which prompted Remus to instinctively avoid Sirius’ gaze. Remus’ hands cupped around his drink, bringing it to his lips.

“Can I, uh, ask you something?” Remus asked nervously, still avoiding Sirius’ gaze, “I, uh, I…”

Now Sirius was worried- the poor boy looks like he is about to faint.

“Yeah?” Sirius asked when Remus lingered on his sentence for too long.

“I- you know what? Never mind, it’s stupid,” Remus laughed shakingly, taking another sip of his drink.

Sirius was about to ask Remus again. He hated this. He hated how Remus was always dancing carefully around him. Why can’t he just say what he wanted to, dammit? Before he could, Remus let out a burst of laughter when he examined his cup.

“Oh my God! Do you see this?” Remus said through a fit of tears, showing Sirius his own name scribbled onto Remus’ cup.

However, it did not say “Sirius”. Instead, it read “Serious”.

“Oh fuckin’ hell,” Sirius groaned, “that greasy haired motherfucker. I’m gonna kill hi-”

Sirius regarded his own cup. Once again, his horribly misspelled name was scrawled onto the cup. However, there was an additional message.

_**”Watch out, Black. Ilvermorny’s gonna kick your ass!"**_

“We’ll see about that,” Sirius mumbled to himself, taking a sip of the drink.

Frankly, the drink tasted disgusting.


	7. Chapter 7

The game against Ilvermorny went horribly- for Hogwarts, that is. For Ilvermorny, it was excellent.

James was distraught. The evening after the game, he could be seen sitting in a corner of the common room trying not to cry, with Sirius at his side, barely stifling his laughter. Remus, Frank, and Alice were sitting in front of the fire with a pot of tea. Ilvermorny and Hogwarts were just far enough away from each other that the Ilvermorny students would be staying for a few days after the game. A group of them were clustered together, talking and laughing. A short, chubby blond boy detached himself from the group and went over to the group by the fire.

“Hey guys! I meant to talk to you all before the game, but there wasn’t really any time. How are you all?”

Remus stood up and gave the boy a hug. “Peter, it’s so good to see you! You did great in the game, by the way.”

Frank rolled his eyes at this. “Just because he tripped me up…”

“Accidentally!”

“Sure, Peter.”

Remus offered Peter a cup of tea, and the boy settled in with the other three. “So, what’s new? I feel like I’m missing out on everything. I’ve barely heard from you guys since Christmas!”

“That’s your own fault. You shouldn’t have transferred.” Alice pointed out. Peter sighed.

“Ilvermorny has a better theatre program. You know that. We’ve been through this. Anyways, I need all the gossip. What’s Remus been up to?”

“Nothing much.” Remus said quickly. Alice grinned. “ _Remus_  has been tutoring someone."

"Oh, who?"

Remus groaned and buried his face in his hands. “Why do you guys have to be like this?”

Alice smirked, leaned forward, and whispered, "Sirius Black."

Peter gasped a tad overdramatically. “Sirius Black?”

  
Alice nodded. “ _Sirius Black_.”

Frank put a hand on Remus’ back. “Sorry, Remus. I don’t know why you stay friends with them.”

“Me neither,” Remus grumbled. “I’m getting tired. I think I’ll go to bed.” He picked up his book and left the room.

“Is he okay?” Peter asked.

“He’s fine. He also definitely has a crush on Sirius, but he won’t admit it. You should have seen him during the game.” Alice smirked. “He could barely keep his eyes off Black.”

Peter grinned. “You know, I’ve been talking to James. He mentioned that Sirius might like someone. Didn’t say who, though. I wonder…”

“If it could be Remus?” Frank said excitedly.

“Exactly.”

“Why don’t you go over and ask?” Alice said.

Peter raised an eyebrow. “‘Hey Sirius, your best friend here has been talking about you behind your back saying that you have a crush on someone and are being really annoying about it. I was wondering if that person is Remus Lupin by any chance?’ Really guys, how well do you think that would go over?”

“You’d be more subtle than that, you idiot!”

“We know subtlety isn’t my strong point, Alice. Besides- I don’t think James would talk to me right now. He looks like we’ve just crushed all his hopes and dreams.”

~

A few days later, Remus walked into the fourth floor bathroom to see Sirius standing at the sink, washing his hands. Grinning, Sirius flicked some water droplets from his hands in Remus’s direction.

Remus gasped dramatically, pretending to carefully examine his old, oversized jumper. “Sirius! How could you ruin my Sunday best like this?”

Sirius laughed. “Are you really sure a jumper and shitty jeans are your Sunday best?”

“Did you just call my jeans shitty? I’ll have you know that they were a gift from my great-uncle Alphard, who thought that shitty jeans should be treasured as every man’s Sunday best.”

Sirius was nearly doubled over laughing. Remus was more than a little proud of himself, and he allowed himself a few seconds of just staring at Sirius. As soon as the other boy straightened up, however, Remus fixed his eyes on a spot just above Sirius’s shoulder. “See you in the library this evening?”

“Are we really studying on a Sunday?” Sirius whined.

“I hadn’t planned to, but we didn’t get anything done earlier this week, and don’t you have a test on Tuesday?”

“So fucking reasonable, Remus. Admit it, you had fun going out for coffee.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Would it make you happy if I said yes?”

“Very happy.”

“Then yes. Now fuck off, I didn’t come in here just to talk.”

Sirius saluted as he walked out.

Remus hurried into the stall. On the wall was a conversation that had happened over the past couple of days.

_That was a pretty exciting game against Ilvermorny, wasn’t it? And how come you haven’t been answering much lately?_

**It was only an exciting game if you’re interested in seeing our team getting their asses kicked. Sorry about not answering, I’ve been busy. Started tutoring someone.**

_Ooo tutoring! How exciting! You must be having a great time ;) As sad as I am about our loss, it was still a good game. No one got hurt, at least_

**That’s really the bar you’re going to set for a good game? That’s pretty fucking sad. Tutoring isn’t as bad as I had expected, actually.**

_I get the feeling that’s high praise from you_

Remus took out a pencil and started to write something, but then erased it. Everything with Sirius was taking up too much space in his head for him to think about anything else. This new friendship was taking up quite a bit of Remus’ time. That wasn’t something he would ever complain about, and he had noticed that Sirius seemed to be making an effort to spend time with him, which was nice. It was almost to the point where sometimes he almost thought that Sirius liked him back, and Remus had to keep reminding himself that that was impossible. He had nearly asked Sirius about it earlier that week when they went out for coffee, and he had been shaking at the mere thought of hearing the answer. No, Remus decided, he wouldn’t even try to bring up the subject again. It was too terrifying, and far too likely to end in disappointment.

Realizing it was time to stop overthinking, Remus scribbled on the bathroom wall:

**You’re not wrong. And the bloke I’m tutoring isn’t a complete asshole, so it could be way worse.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter (and the whole fic!). Sorry we've been so slow to update the last few months. We've both been really busy with school and stuff and we still kind of are, but we'll do our best to have more regular updates. I'm not making any promises, though!


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